Challenge 3, 4, 5, and 6
Insomnia(challenge 3) is one symptom that will take me longer to adjust to since I am accustomed to sleeping like a rock. Since my biopsy, I have been on prednisone to keep the symptoms of the lymphoma, such as vomiting after eating, at bay. After taking the steroid, I am wired and struggle to fall asleep.
So again, I slept poorly and my bladder acted as my alarm clock. It is important to stay hydrated but with cancer, the medications, and IV fluids- I seem to always be needing the restroom.
Flipping to my phone in the morning, I got the news my aunt had her baby in the wee hours of the morning. The beautiful, baby girl was born almost a month early. Although I am excited to see the good news of a healthy child, I was a bit saddened because I had been looking forward to being with the family for my cousin’s birth. There is an allure to seeing a newborn baby for the first time. It may seem much to say it depressed me, but it was a reminder of the life I planned to be living this semester opposed to where I am now.
Frying eggs and flipping pancakes with my good friend was a relaxing way to spend my Sunday morning. I miss going to church (challenge 4), but it was recommended by my medical team and fellow individuals with weakened immune systems to avoid such crowded environments. Rather, I enjoyed catching up with a friend over a home cooked breakfast.
The best my body has felt since diagnosis was soaking in the hot tub looking out over the snow with good music. My usual disdain towards water is nonexistent now as hot water soothes the aches of my body, calms the mind, and keeps me warm. Sundays are for rest and loved ones and my quiet morning proved to be just that.
After enjoying my visit, I took a shower. My new favorite pastime. Then went to read, The Girls by Emma Cline. Having started and failed to read through a few nonfictions, I decided to start an easier read for now. My focus and short-term memory are seriously impaired by the chemo (challenge 5) and other drugs requiring me to be more patient with myself by going with what I am capable of.
The highlight of my day was walking over to Farmhouse for a nice dinner with my mom, Matt, and Jacob. Scars on my skin, shorter hair, and the weird skin condition on my face make it hard to feel great about my body (challenge 6). With extra time on my hands, I am starting to wear makeup and spend more time on my hair. Most people are shocked to see the contrast of the makeup. This idea came from another cancer blog I had read through. Cancer, being hard on the body, leaves many women feeling unfeminine and makeup seemingly helped others feel better about their current condition. It is more than vanity. The disease has transformed my life, causing roadblocks, challenges, and pain because it is relentless. I want to feel human.
And now, I am going to enjoy another shower to soothe me to sleep.